Losing a Friend

How does one bring oneself to a place where they are ready to say goodbye to a loyal, constant, and cherished companion who has done so much life with them that they hardly recognize themselves without her shadow following closely behind? I don’t think we are ever ready. I’m facing these questions as I sit here with tears streaming down my face and my precious almost 16-year-old Lucy laboriously breathing next to me. My girl has walked down every road with me since 2001 when I adopted her as a puppy. She was frightened, extremely thin, and untrusting until I won her over with quality time and affection. From that day forward, she has been all mine. The girl has loved hard and fiercely and has put my safety and security at the forefront of her agenda. While she has never been meek or mild and isn’t one that would be many people’s favorite(Her nickname is Lucy-fur, after all) her loyalty struck a chord with me like no other. She’s been with me during the first year of my career as I was figuring out what life as an adult looked like. We made the tough decision and transition to move to a city where we had many acquaintances but few friends. She was my companion and cure for all loneliness and self-doubt during that time of self-discovery. She laid with me as my fears and frustrations in a new school were heavy on my heart and mind. She managed to open her heart to another when I married and sat by my side as I had to admit the failure of defeat when that situation dissolved. She never waivered or faltered in her love and devotion.  We have been through many boyfriends and a couple of almost-husbands and still she is the one that has remained. My heart is breaking as I am now faced with the choice of having to help her cross the rainbow-bridge to the happy hunting grounds beyond this 🌏. I’ve been beseaching God to please take her first but He has given me dominion over her to help her when she can’t help herself. So, tomorrow afternoon, I will say goodbye to my dear old friend who is the scrappiest, determined, and strongest friend I’ve known. She’s my first-child and the love of my heart and I can’t imagine embarking on this next new journey without her cheering me on. She’ll leave this world much as she came into mine: immaciated from no appetite, staggering from an apparent stroke, but still strong, brave and determined. I know she’ll forever be in my heart and I’m so very grateful for our time together. 

Lucy, you have been and will always be my girl.